I have had a serious lack of motivation over the past few months. Some of it has to do with the amount of hours I work and other obligations, but a decent amount of it also had to do with my choosing to not care as much as I should, or as much as I may have told others I did. I think that is the biggest issue for a lot of people. We will tell people we eat healthy and we want to be healthier in our lifestyle choices, but then we will eat 4 slices of pizza. We will tell people how hard we are working to achieve this lifestyle by working out, but then we will skip most days of activity and only do something active once or twice a week. Then we look in the mirror or to friends and family and we ask “I don’t understand why I look the way I do?” I know because I have done this in the past. I know because I partially did this recently. I came to the point though where I knew it was all my fault and I started openly blaming myself in hopes that that might motivate me. It didn’t at first, but it is starting to.
My other lack of motivation was in working out. As you know I am a CrossFit trainer. I also participate in the sport. I used to be pretty good, not Regionals or Games worthy, but I was a pretty good athlete. I am currently participating in the CrossFit open. It’s an annual event open to anyone in the world for a small registration fee and is a way to test your current fitness level and compare to your past levels of fitness if you have participated in years past. This is my first open. My first year of CrossFit I was still new to the sport and had not learned a bunch of the gymnastic moves required and last year I had to sit back and watch as I suffered a wrist injury a month before the open. I reluctantly joined this year even though I knew how out of shape I had allowed myself to become. The open has been an eye opener for me. My scores are sub-par, sub-par for me. I know where I have been in my level of fitness and I know that right now I am nowhere near that. It’s embarrassing that I used to run half marathons, do tough mudders and other obstacle races and right now I can barely make it through a round of a workout without collapsing from lack of air.
I am writing this blog more for myself than anyone else, but I do hope that it reaches at least one person. If it doesn’t, so what, it at least allowed me to vent my frustrations and sometimes you need to do that as well.
As for me finding my motivation…I got up this morning, made a healthy breakfast, got to the gym at 5:15am and did a WOD. I went back to some of my original programming when I first started CrossFit with my trainer Izzet. I owe him a lot for introducing me to CrossFit because it changed my life. I figured that redoing some WODs and remembering some of the good old times of him calling me a pussy during workouts would get me fired up...it did. The score wasn’t great, and lower than it normally is, but I gave it my best. I took very small rests and pushed myself through the soreness and lack of endurance. I lost :30 seconds of extra reps because I had to start teaching my 6am class, but it’s not like that :30 seconds was the difference between just another score and a PR (personal record).